Taylor Swift and Tom Hiddleston were seen Disney kissing on a rock less than a month after she broke up with Calvin Harris. According to the story her team fed Us Weekly, Tom Hiddleston must have bugged her house, because “he really courted her” and “she was suddenly single, and he went for it”. Uh huh. But they had to reiterate she was single again, just so everyone is clear: “she’s single, so of course if a cute guy reaches out who she likes, she would talk to him”.
That scenario makes the most sense, I think. Taylor was sitting around heartbroken, then Tom was romantic and courted her like she was a Duggar, and I bet they fell asleep on the phone with each other because neither of them wanted to hang up. He reached out and yanked her three weeks later back to her house in Rhode Island, and they’re love was so instant and perfect, The Sun couldn’t help but write prose for their pictures that Taylor doesn’t allow paparazzi to take except this one specific time. And when they kissed they knew this was it, so six days in, all this was happening without any planning or forethought, because bluebirds and love and meadows.
Oh wait, here’s another scenario we should probably throw out there even though it seems pretty implausible!
Taylor Swift manipulated the situation for her benefit. Haha, pretty crazy accusation, Calvin!
Taylor Swift broke up with him over the phone and told him to shut the fuck about it in the media or she’d systematically dismantle him. Hard to believe! Sad!
Honestly, if you told me that Taylor sent that alligator to kill that little boy at Disney World because he saw something he shouldn’t have, I’d struggle not believing you.
[ h/t to ONTD the best investigative team on the Internet ]