Full disclosure going in: this is a non-story. You know, those “stories” that only happen on the Internet that aren’t important, won’t make it to mainstream news and that you only click on because you’re trying to waste five minutes at work.
But to be fair, it’s also educational – did you know that women can be slobs just like men? Of course you did! Most of the people reading this are men. Yet the Twitterverse (I can’t believe I just used that in a sentence, someone shave my head and kill me please) was apparently unaware, as one young woman named Shelby was kind enough to take time out of her day to debunk the myth that women are cleaner than men. Er, really she was just trying to show off her butt in a sundress, but I like to think I live in a world where Shelbies aren’t vapid millennials looking for validation from anonymous Internet strangers:
Yes, that is Shelby’s room. Yes, it looks like the reject bin at Goodwill.
Here’s an even closer look, for all the masochists out there:
Indeed – those are curtains made out of dirty (clean? Who the fuck knows at this point) clothes. Kudos to Shelby for coming up with a cheaper alternative to an already cheap option, but Twitter was more concerned that she’s well on her way to developing a hoarding disorder than she is getting ready for a day in a sundress:
According to Shelby, her room isn’t always like this…
…which is exactly what she WANTS you to think. Shelby is slowly trying to cultivate an aggressive strain of Anthrax inside the rotting takeout pizza boxes underneath her bed. Don’t believe anything she says. If you trust her even for a minute you’ll wind up a corpse dumped onto some remote third world island where the native population partakes in weekly necrophilia parties.
She does have a nice butt though. Can’t fault her for that!