Okay, it’s June. You know what that means? Less than two months until Game of Thrones (finally) returns. Unfortunately, this has been the longest fans have been forced to wait in between seasons and it’s reasonable to expect viewers to forget a few things. Remember how hard it was to keep everything straight during the looooong layoffs of The Sopranos?
In an effort to jog your memories as we close in on the home stretch, here’s everything you (probably) forgot is happening.
Jon & Sansa
We all remember Jon being betrayed by his own men. No need to rehash that and break out into cold sweats again.
After being resurrected by Melisandre, Jon met up with Sansa and led a small army to retake Winterfell. With an assist from Sansa via Littlefinger and The Vale’s army, the Starks reclaimed their ancestral home and did away with Ramsay Bolton in extremely satisfying fashion (death by hungry pooches).
Sadly, Rickon was killed amid the chaos and Jon being crowned King in the North didn’t appear to please Sansa all that much.
When season five was closing, Dany had just hitched a ride from Drogon out of Mereen and right into a horde of Dothraki. She was taken captive and brought to the city where all of the “retired” khaleesies go. Obviously, Dany was not down with this plan so she used her pyro-fetish to burn the Dothraki leaders and escape as the ruler of a massive 100,000-man khalasar. It’s like the Westeros version of Kevin Durant joining the Golden State Warriors.
With a little help from her dragons, Dany then laid fiery waste to the armies of the Slavers that were attacking Mereen. She took their ships and along with the Dothraki, the Unsullied, Yara and Theon Greyjoy, the Dornish, the Tyrells and Tyrion, made her way to Westeros.
Boom, power moves only.
It’s everyone’s favorite pint sized psychopath!
Arya’s training at the House of Black and White helped turn her into a more effective killer, but the Faceless Men failed to turn a girl into No One. Arya couldn’t bring herself to kill the innocent actress and fully give herself over to the Faceless teachings. Right on, Arya.
While this is great for Arya’s character, it’s not so great for her small intestines as the Waif buried a blade in her stomach as punishment. However, Arya survived and managed to get the best of the Waif before setting sail for Westeros and cutting Walder Frey’s throat.
Did I mention that Arya also hacked up Frey’s two sons and baked them into his pie? And you thought your teenage daughter was a handful…
Cersei & Jaime
Following her Walk of Shame, Cersei was hell bent on revenge against the High Sparrow, the Tyrells and even people who never wronged her at all. As a result, Cersei went full Mad King and blew up the Sept with everyone—the Tyrells, the High Septon, most of the Royal Court in King’s Landing—in it.
This led to Tommen’s suicide and Cersei sitting atop the Iron Throne.
Jaime, who has spent much of the last several seasons trying to be a good dude, returns to find half of King’s Landing blown to shit, his last remaining child dead and Cersei in power.
Hmmm. My money is one Jaime being the one to finally put an end to Cersei. Any takers?
Bran/Beyond the Wall
White Walkers attacked the cave where Bran and the Three-Eyed Raven were connecting to the USB port of the tree Internet. Old Three Eyes was killed – what a letdown that character/arc was – and Bran and Co. narrowly escaped (RIP Hodor)
Bran is getting stronger and finally learns the truth about Jon Snow’s origins – that he’s the lovechild of Lyanna Stark and Rhaegar Targaryen.
This means Jon is Ned Stark’s nephew (not bastard), Bran/Sansa/Arya’s cousin and Daenerys is his aunt. Oh, and it also means he’s got a decent claim to the Iron Throne. Not bad for a day’s work.
Sam is reading books at Oldtown with Gilly. He also stole his father’s Valyrian sword on the way because his old man is a real dickhead.
Rickon Stark, Roose and Ramsay Bolton, Walder Frey, the High Sparrow, Loras and Margaery Tyrell, Hodor, Stannis Baratheon.