Dating apps. They’re like the truck stop rest rooms of your cell phone, and their impact on our culture is so profound that Googling “swipe left” actually now brings up a dictionary entry:
In an effort to gauge just how millennials really use these things, Adobo.com, which is a website that helps you find apartments and has nothing to do with social research, conducted a survey of 4,000 current college students around the country. Here are the most salient facts:
THE MOST POPULAR APP IS TINDER
84% of app users are on Tinder, though FarmersOnly would have likely ranked higher if they’d polled any agricultural colleges.
THEY’RE ON TINDER FOR “ENTERTAINMENT”
34% of respondents claim to be on Tinder for entertainment, but this word can mean a lot of things. For example: sex. Other (less) entertaining ways to have a good time on Tinder: catfishing, credit card scams, finding out someone is cheating and blackmailing them.
THEY’RE NOT ON THERE FOR HOOK UPS
91% percent of respondents claim they’re not using the apps for hook-ups, primarily when asked by girls “you’re not just looking for a hook-up, right?”
31.5% OF WOMEN SAID THEY WOULD NEVER HOOK UP ON A FIRST DATE.
Only 9.4% of men said the same thing. 99.5% are lying and the rest are closeted.
37% OF MEN DON’T CONSIDER USING AN APP WHILE IN A RELATIONSHIP TO BE CHEATING
Because, despite desperately trying to cheat, they can’t get laid.
THERE’S A DATING APP CALLED COFFEE MEETS BAGEL
And it’s not a place for Jews to meet Gentiles.
13.7% OF TINDER USERS ARE ON THERE FOR AN EGO BOOST
A much higher percentage are on there—unwittingly—for ego annihilation.
MORE PEOPLE ARE ON APPS TO FIND LOVE THAN A HOOKUP
It’s 11.5% for love and 8.8% for hookups, which the surveyors described as “heartwarming.” They neglected to mention that 99% of users will find neither, which is disheartening.
10.2% OF WOMEN AND 9.6% OF MEN ARE LOOKING FOR FRIENDS
These people are ruining it for everyone else.
MORE WOMEN THAN MEN CHOSE NUDES AS THEIR #1 REASON TO USE DATING APPS
9.1% of women cite collecting nudes as their #1 reason for using dating apps, though, for obvious reasons, exactly what percent of these women are actually gay men using a fake picture could not be determined.