Allegra Cole is not like most women. Most women don’t have fake boobs, and the ones who do know what size they are. Not Allegra. You see, the 47-year-old glamor model (yes, we’ve reached the point society where anyone with enormous fake boobies classifies as a “model”) has spent over $70,000 on plastic surgery, including three boob jobs, a Brazilian butt lift, tummy tuck, silicon lip enhancements, Botox and fillers.
The word “natural” does not appear to be in her vocabulary.
Speaking to The Sun, Allegra says that she decided to have breast implants after having kids because “after you breastfeed children your breasts are not as cute as they once were.”
“Being someone who cared about aesthetic, I wanted them to be fuller and rounder and even have a little bit more.
After my first enhancement, I didn’t feel like it was enough for me, because bigger is better in my mind.”
Once a 34DD, Allegra initially added 800ccs to her breasts in order to achieve the look she wanted, however she notes that her Mormon upbringing leaves her feeling guilty for indulging in such a superficial operation. “I’ve had women come out of the woodwork that I knew who said ‘I would love to have bigger boobs, but I’m worried about being slut shamed,” she explains. “I want to be the 21st century poster woman for carrying big breasts and making them be classy and still not just be pigeonholed as maybe in the porn industry or as a stripper.”
Girl – we are far beyond that point. Your boobs are so big you have to shift your entire torso just to play the piano:
But this just leaves me with even more questions, including BUT NOT LIMITED TO: can you fit through most doors if you decide to walk in sideways? If you try running do your boobs smack you in the face? Do they double as life preservers in the water? These are all important, life-changing questions that need answering, Allegra.
Allegra now sports 4,000ccs in one breast and 3,600ccs in the other, weighing 20 pounds at their largest. And because it’s 2017 and we’re more interested in giant tits rather than curing cancer, she’s got a type of implant that allows her to “pump up” her breasts at home using a syringe every two to four weeks. “I’m 48 in May and if I am looking like this at 48 I am not really worried about the future,” she says, “I can just picture I will be taking care of my great-grandkids and they will be like, ‘Grandma what big bowling balls you have!”
To each their own – but personally, I’d rather look like a Susan Sarandon type of grandma…
…than whatever look Allegra is trying to achieve.
Would you? Let us know in the comments.