No one is above the law. Well, mostly no one – we’re not including politicians, celebrities, police officers and extremely hot women. They can do whatever they want for the most part. The rest of us can get fucked as far as the eyes of the law are concerned.
Which brings us to Dallas County assistant district attorney Leah Lucius, who was suspended without pay after being arrested on suspected drunken-driving this past Saturday morning.
Sadly, Leah is not hot enough to avoid arrest. Girlfriend is sitting at a hearty 6/10 in this photo…
…and a solid 3/10 in real life.
To the graphic designer Photoshopped the hell out of that first photo: whatever you were paid, it was not nearly enough.
According to NBC Dallas, the 39-year-old ADA wrecked her car into a tree and fence not far from her home right around midnight this past Saturday. Once police arrived on the scene, they quickly determined that she was disoriented and smelled of alcohol. In the event that the police in Dallas are a few cattle short of a ranch, Leah made their jobs even easier for them by handing over her concealed handgun license instead of her driver’s license when prompted; officers also noted that she was wobbly on her feet and leaning on her car for balance.
You know how they tell you to never, EVER talk to police when you’re suspected of being in trouble? Leah should’ve kept her mouth shut. Not only did she give a “partial, incorrect phone number” and admit to having “had a couple of glasses of wine over a five-hour period” (yeah right, and I don’t drink an entire bottle by myself every Tuesday night), but she had the drunken balls to ask officer Bobby Watkins, “Bobby can you give me a break? We are Facebook friends.”
If only that logic applied in real life. I follow Steve Jobs on Twitter and that son of a bitch still hasn’t given me a free iPad. Hell, I donated to the Make a Wish foundation and none of my wishes have come true (still waiting patiently for that free boob job guys, call me!) My point is, that’s some stupid fucking logic only a brilliantly drunk person could come up with, and it must’ve taken a LOT of wine to completely forget all that time spent in law school learning how to shut the fuck up and not get yourself arrested.
Sadly, Bobby Watkins replied that everything was being videotaped and that there was nothing he could do. Leah then went on to refuse every single field sobriety test they tried to give her, which was the first smart thing she did that night. She was then placed under arrest and taken to Parkland Memorial Hospital where her blood was drawn after officers received a warrant.
Leah was supposed to surrender herself to authorities after being discharged from the hospital, however as of 3:30 p.m. on Monday she had still failed to do so. My guess is she’s either changed her name, identity and gone on the lam, or holed up in a Toyota Prius somewhere butt-chugging her sorrows away with a bottle of Kendall Jackson Chardonnay; I’m gonna go with the latter.