There’s a new theory floating around (so new that we just invented it) that The Walking Dead is really just a series of life lessons on how to make it through St. Patrick’s Day. “Why, that’s blarney” you might say with an Irish accent, but bear with us as we explain our logic. By the end, you might be turning green not just as an Irish thing but as in zombie flesh color.
1. You need to hoard food, water, and ammunition.
The Walking Dead teaches us that Rick and company need to hoard their ammo and supplies. Not because they are magically delicious, but because without them, zombies might turn them into breakfast. You desperately need beer, liquor, bar snacks, and fluids to make sure your group has the supplies to last the entire day.
2. Avoid large groups at all costs.
St. Patrick’s Day is really a struggle between getting a buzz on if that’s your thing, or avoiding drunken idiots if it’s not. Clearly, much of The Walking Dead is about avoiding walkers – you know, zoned out, slow moving idiots. Like those dorks at the bar with 8 green beers in them who are shouting nonsense about how they are 1/32 Irish.
3. Looks can be deceiving.
The truth is that in both The Walking Dead and your irish pub crawl you never know who to truly trust. In the zombie apocalypse your best friend might stab you in the back or try to eat your face. But on St. Patty’s it’s your best friend who got into an Uber stone sober and then pukes an ungodly amount leaving you with a $300 cleaning fee.
4. You may have to leave your own people behind to survive.
Sometimes in life it is a necessity to cut one of your own from the herd so that the rest of you may live. This is never mroe true than on St. Patty’s day when your friend has to have “one more drink” at the pub but you know that thigns are about to take a turn for the worse.
5. Hydrate, hydrate, hydrate.
Nothing is more important to survival than proper hydration. Whether it’s keeping your body running smoothly to keep a step ahead of walkers or you keeping an even flow of booze and liquids to help preemtively quell a hangover, NOTHING is more important than staying hydrated.
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