“If you’re going to steal, steal big.”
Al Capone is credited with that one, though if he were alive today—well, for one thing, he’d be 118 years old—but he’d likely also have some follow-up advice for thieves: “If you’re going to steal, don’t steal something that will allow cops to use the Global Positioning System to track you down and arrest you.”
If that sounds so spectacularly obvious that you would have to be very, very, very stupid not to figure it out for yourself, then you damn sure are not Reinaldo De Jesus Henao, who was busted this past weekend for pilfering over a hundred mobile phones at Coachella. He was nabbed when people activated the “find my phone” feature. Following his arrest, it is presumed he had no trouble making his one allowed phone call.
While his arrest wasn’t captured on video—I’m sure someone went to record it and discovered their phone had been stolen—here’s a round-up of other thieves getting confronted on camera for your amusement:
This one has a Wurlstar watermark, so you know it’s not getting resolved with words. The actual fight erupts at 2:00 and features the most spaghetti-limbed flailing I’ve ever seen:
This one feels like it was shot by the cinematographer responsible for Children of Men, and not just because the guy holds the camera correctly. The greatest detail is the shard of broken glass that falls from the car window when she slams the door.
This could have been how Ellie Kemper or Kristen Wiig ended up if they weren’t such good comedic actors:
“You don’t trust me? A guy with a $25,000 car?”
The “confrontation” here is between the would-be thief and the electrified Trump sign he’s trying to steal. Now, no matter your political leanings, I think we can ALL agree that this video is satisfying and that Hillary Clinton was a horrible candidate.
You might want to skip through the first silent minute of this one. Don’t. The moment when the vocals drop is flat-out high art.
In the mood for one more? Check out yesterday’s Best of Break!