Everyone seems to love dolphins. But no group of people seems to be more obsessed than the folks looking for love on Tinder. There might be lots of reasons why you wouldn’t want to pose next to a dolphin (such as allusions to “you smell like tuna” are bad form), but that hasn’t stopped these people from trying to spice up their Tinder profiles with dolphin pics just like everyone else and their cousin on the dating site.
Here are 20 pics and what they might be trying to say.
1. Dig My Tattoo
Sure, I may look tough but I’m a big softie.
2. Down for a Threesome
The more the merrier.
3. Big Flipper
Perhaps this is to distract that his own flipper is more of a grower than a shower.
4. I’m Cheeky
Plant one on my face, especially if you dig spiky hair.
5. Very Polite
Or, this could be code for “I’m really good with my hands.”
6. Bad Breath
The dolphin is damn cute, so why won’t he look it in the eyes?
7. Not Usually So Forward
No, they were excited to see him – not trying to swim away as fast as they possibly can.
8. I Know What Women Really Want
This guy’s not averse to giving a lady some special pleasure.
9. Let’s Go to the Ballet
Woops, you mean this isn’t my Grindr profile?
10. I Do More Than Kiss on the First Date
“It’s consensual, I swear!” Ok Murray, we believe you. Sheesh.
11. Lap Dancer
This guy’s name is Freek, so that he has a lap dance with dolphin fetish may be par for the course.
12. Look. No Cavities.
What better way to tell the Tinder universe that you are proud of your teeth?
13. Let’s Get Married
See how well I can carry something across the threshold?
14. I’m a Great Lover
We made sweet dolphin love all night, and swear I didn’t use photoshop.
15. Good Cook
I’ll feed you. (Fine, I’m really a waiter but I’m this close to getting an audition on a new soap.)
16. I Have Great Balance
Plus, I’m obviously a sadist and enjoy stepping on sea creatures.
17. I’m Easy
Here’s a relatively rare one – a woman. The four pics indicate high sex drive and the fact that one of the pics is of a sea lion attests to her having low standards.
I won’t take off my glasses or even get in the water for you, baby.
19. Too Sexy For You
Another girl, and a pretty one at that. The dolphin is actually blushing.
20. I’ve Got a Gun
This dolphin is being threatened by an off-camera gun. Date me if you want to live through a real-life Tarantino movie.
Our advice? Stick to pics of you and a monkey, so at least everyone will know that you either like to monkey around or that you enjoy bananas.