When I say that I’m throwing respect over to 37-year-old Erin Lynch, it’s not because I admire her life choices or think she’s a good role model; it’s not because she crashed her car into another vehicle, and it’s not because she was arrested for operating a vehicle under the influence.
Erin “Why Make Cupholders If My Wine Bottle Doesn’t Fit?” Lynch
It’s because this motherfuckin’ hardo of a woman got pulled over by the police for driving while intoxicated, and instead of handing over her license and registration when asked she allegedly continued drinking.
Drunk driving? Awful. Truly committing with all your might to being an alcoholic? RESPECT.
“Officers, it was a matter of life or death: drink wine or die.”
I, for one, can’t commit to anything to save my life. My New Year’s resolutions were to smoke less weed, drink more, start sleeping around and do a pull-up. Only one of those four have been achieved, and they’re WAY easier to commit to than the ensuing legal headache Erin’s going to have once she sobers up. Erin is not my role model, but would I hire her as my AA coach? Definitely.
According to WBZ4, Erin Lynch was seen swerving all over the road until she eventually collided with another car on Valentine’s Day. Because being single on Valentine’s Day isn’t the worst thing that could happen to you, Erin decided to take it one step further…
…by allegedly (allegedly guys, ALLEGEDLY) choosing to take yet another swig from the bottle of red wine she had sitting in her car’s center console after being asked by police to give them her license and registration. As in, the cops were standing right there when Erin decided that now would be a good time for a quick gulp of red. Erin may not have the best decision making skills, but can you blame her? If I was hammered behind the wheel of a car with the fuzz standing right outside my window, hell yeah I’d want a drink to calm my nerves too.
Why eat like an adult when you have the drinking sensibilities of a toddler?
Erin’s drinking, combined with her crashed car, the wine glass sitting in her console and the empty wine bottle on the floor, made it easy for police to arrest her for operating a vehicle under the influence in addition to other charges. She was transported from the scene of the crash to South Shore Hospital, though according to their website South Shore does not include merlot on their patient dining menu. Don’t know how Erin’s gonna make it through this one, but I’ve got faith in you girl — though maybe it’s a good idea to hide the car keys from yourself before you go on another bender. You’ll thank me later.