Move over poverty-stricken children in Africa, because apparently you’re not newsworthy enough to make headlines today. Nope, instead we’re going to talk about how Madison Haulter got fat shamed on the Internet, and then how her boyfriend got involved and wrote some sappy bullshit to make her feel better.
(Yes, I am aware that I am perpetuating the cycle of non-news somehow becoming news. But I also really, really hate fat shaming, so this story has become near and dear to my heart.)
Also near and dear to my heart: cheeseburgers, ironically
According to Daily Mail, Madison and her boyfriend, Tre Booker, have been dating for over a year, and like any normal high school couple they attended prom together:
And just like every other millennial in the world, the pair felt the need to blow up social media with their pictures:
But because the world is actually a shitty place and life isn’t always roses, someone went and left a mean comment on Madison’s photo.
Boo hoo hoo.
To be fair, that is pretty rude. To be even fairer though, tough titties chickie. You wanna see some real mean comments? Click any post on this website and have a gander. I have my sexuality, boobs, hair, general sense of self and face all ruthlessly trashed by the people who comment here. Am I crying about it? Well, okay – technically yes. But do I need to be coddled about it like Madison? Nah, because the world isn’t a goddamn Safe Space™, and the sooner you embrace that fact the better off the entire planet will be.
Oh, and can we talk about how fat shaming isn’t a fucking thing? If you are fat and feel shame for being fat, then sit that fat ass down on a stationary bike and start pedaling; do something to change it instead of making up SJW terms for your next frilly pink Tumblr post. You know why you feel shame? Because being fat isn’t healthy. Being fat is not conventially attractive, nor does it serve any useful purpose biologically. I’m all for loving yourself, and I’m not saying that fat people are inherently bad or anything, but come on guys – the fact that you can be “shamed” for it just proves that it’s not a positive thing in the first place. Ever hear of someone getting shamed for donating to charity? No, because that’s a good thing. Same applies here.
After posting the above tweet, people began throwing compliments at Madison like rappers throw their dicks into any given Kardashian…
…which just blows my fucking mind. Oh, we can rally around a girl who got her feelings hurt on the Internet and mourn a dead gorilla for six months, but god for-fucking-bid half the goddamn country get off their ass and vote come election season. And by the way, I’m guilty of this too – I even have a Harambe shirt. It’s fucking awesome. Yes, I am perfectly fine being a hypocrite, thanks for asking.
Which brings us to what Tre wrote in response to his girlfriend:
I agree Tre, that is literally the softest shit I have ever read in my life, and that’s considering I went through a phase in high school where I only read Nicholas Sparks novels (it was a dark time in my life.) Ten years from now when the country is burning and people are wondering how we got there, I’ll be able to point to this story and say “Yeah…it definitely started here.”
Have you ever been fat shamed? No, because you are not a pussy who plugs their ears and screams “LA LA LA LA LA” whenever someone says something you don’t want to hear. Don’t leave a comment, just pat yourself on the back and keep being you